So here I sit, in my downtown studio. The sky is clouded over as the sun desperately tries to breakthrough. It's May, yet feels like March. It's homey here ... professional, in the hub of downtown (if our little town can have a hub), it's hip. I love being here. It's filled with creativity. I am blessed to have a place such as this .... for sessions, meeting clients, and like today, a place to edit. I still love working from home though. I can sneak a little bit of work in here and there, even in my jammies late at night or early in the morning. But this is different. It has a different feel. I don't feel distracted by chores needed to be done, animals that need to go out, etc. As time goes on and Pie will enter full time school, I know I will spend much more time here. But for now, a few hours here and a few hours there, it's good.
Finding balance is where I struggle. Wanting to work, wanting to be home. Knowing I love to work with clients and create images of their families, babies, special event. Knowing I love to be home, involved in all things, and there is always something that needs attention ... the general home things. If I had to choose a struggle, this would be it. Struggling for time and balance. I don't find myself struggling with health or marriage or troubled children. All is healthy and well.
Finances are another struggle we face. We are blessed and have probably a lot more than some. We have a modest home, modest cars, food, warmth, health. But there are times (now being one of them) that I can feel that burden. Our home is on need of some definite upkeep and repair. For instance Tucker ate through the carpet in the living room, as well as the drapes. While doing dome art work Pie accidentally got red permanent marker the the carpet in the kiddos room. The house is in desperate need of paint, and it feels like the list goes on. My car seems to be in the same condition at the moment, no heat and the handle to move the seat back and forth broke completely off! Yikes!
None of these are terrible struggles on there own, or really all together. But, all together it adds up and I find stress in that. It makes me laugh ("like really?"). It makes me cry ...
No, I don't always have money for new clothes, fun trips or even organic food. We do our best.
I pray to be grateful for all I do have. I pray to be graceful about all I do not have. And simply to be graceful in all aspects of my life ... even when my tendency if frustration. We are told to give all burdens to the Lord .... no matter how big or how small ... We are told not to worry. I like that. I may not do it well but I like that. And just like we are teaching are children, and they are learning, how much more does the Lord teach us? And I am learning .....
I have wants. And I'm sure unnecessary want.
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