My posts have been few and far between these days. I started this as a place to journal our life ... and it was very important to me. As of late though, we have simply been living and I'm not finding the time or prioritizing the journaling of it. At least not in this way ...

I sit here with my Pie, snuggled in blankets as she is down with a fever, head, nose, throat, congestion. It's so hard to see your child not feeling well. So here we sit, watching a movie, sipping tea and hot cocoa. Many thoughts swirl through my mind.

With the news coming out of Boston, my heart breaks. For the victims, for our communities, our country, our world. It has become a sad and scary place. Can we not send our children to school? Go to the movies? Shopping? Run in a race? These are places, activities where we should feel safe. Yet we don't.

But we cannot live in fear ... the Bible simple states, 'do not fear" as the Lord says "for I am with you.' Fear is no way to live. I don't want to live in fear ... I don't want that for my family, friends, or truly anyone in the world.

I want to live, thrive and enjoy every moment. I want my children to experience life with great joy. Now more than ever, I find it ever so important to put family first. Be here for my kiddos, love them ... Even beyond, we need to be there for one another, all of humanity. People first. Love. Peace. I pray ...

We traveled over spring break and very blessed to do so. It was beautiful time away, relaxing, goofing off, exploring. Time together.

Since we've been home we've been working on what I like to call the farm. It's not really. But with the addition of four chickens, we have transformed to a farm. Nurturing them from 3 day old baby chicks to nearly grown chickens in the garage, Rose, Donna, Amy and Martha (carefully chosen names by Pie and Bub), the girls have moved out to their coup and roam the side yard.

Spring football has started. Work is now picking up.

But for today we rest.

I prayers are deep and go out to all ... for peaceful, beautiful lives.

It has been a long time ... feels like an eternity. But much has been going on, personally, professionally, guess we have just been living life.

There has always been struggles. At any given moment all one has to do is look online at any news site. But recently those struggles, troubles, hardships are much closer to home, with friends and family right in our community. Illness, death, injury, marital problems, miscarriage, job loss. The old saying, "when it rains, it pours," feel so true. It feels heavy.

My running group of five has dwindled to down to one, me. The others all have been distracted by or are dealing with one of the reasons mentioned above. Then there are other friends and family members ... the list goes on and on.

I have talked to, listened to, cried with, prayed for all the people in my life going through hardship right now. And part of me wonders, "whats next?" Or the phone rings and the I think, "what can this be now?" The thought of locking our family inside our little home sounds appealing. Not realistic, but appealing.

A sign of the times ... perhaps.

For me, the struggle is a business centered one. I lost a major client. To top it off I found out about it through social media. My own emotions have been like a roller coaster. It has turned into a continuing saga with twists and turns, and living in a small town ... well, sometimes you just can't get away from it.

I don't believe God wants me to get away from it. There is a reason this has happened to me, and to all of us in our own troubles. God has a plan. I don't know what it is, but He does.  He has promised to never give us anything we cannot handle. My human response in my own situation ( a situation I will gladly accept when I see others issues) can be "But I don't want to handle it."

Proverbs 3:5&6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths ...

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts I think towards you; thoughts of peace, and not of evil. I know the expected end.

A spontaneous quick photo shoot with Pie and Bub ...

On another note ... we now have chickens! I have always wanted to have them and this was the year. A whim really. But whatever it was, we have four chicks, soon to be our laying hens. We are slowing becoming our own little farm. The kiddos love them, have named them and spend hours holding them.

(from left to right ... Amy Pond, Rose Tyler, Donna Noble, and Martha Jones)

Pie's hamster escaped four days ago in the night. We turned the house upside down and inside out. No Bemo. Our house looked like we were moving, complete chaos! After three days of searching, leaving out bits of food, and lots of Pie prayers, we had one last idea, a live animal trap. Brilliant. Set right before bed, another heartfelt Pie prayer, we slept. And then it happened. Around 1am or so we were awakened to the sound of the trap snapping shut ... and yes, a little Bemo in the middle! Her prayers answered :)

Here's to a peace filled day ...

It's a day off of school, rainy outside, kiddos are still snoozing. The morning has been quiet. After running at 5am, I have taken a hot shower, made a french press and crawled back into bed. The house is still. Even Tucker the Beagle is still buried under the covers, snoring.

Investing ... it's a word we hear all the time. Invest money here or there. But what about investing time. Time into relationships and moments.
I have heard from a few people in the past week about working, investing many of hours at work, stress, money, trying to save for this and that, missing kids sporting events because of work, health issues caused by the stress. The list goes on. We all need to work, make money to provide for our families. I know.
I work. And I want. I want things for our home and our family, I want to take trips, my list goes on. Perhaps to a fault. No, definitely to a fault. But more than things I have decided I want time, time with my husband, my kiddos, my family. I want to invest in them and our relationships. So we don't have the biggest house with the newest gadgets. But we have a sweet little home that contains a lot of laughter, peace, true moments. I certainly don't have the fanciest clothes. But I have hot cocoa and ice skating dates with my kids.
It's about priorities I suppose and this is just my perspective ...

Being wife and mom are number one, with out a doubt. But I do have a professional side as well. Goals. Plans. Definitely. My photography business. Even after 12 years I still want to learn, grow, be inspired, create. Even change direction. I had some dreams of where I wanted to go just about a year ago. I prayed. Within a year, the Lord answered my prayers. I was doing what I wanted. It was clear.

Recently, there has been changes, not to my expectations or liking. Grace ... Put on grace. I know God only works for good. I just don't see it yet. I was with Bub when I found out. And it was in teenage words that he reminded that the Lord only brings situations to us that will only make us stronger, for something even more perfect for us. Wow! Such wisdom. And I know he's right but my heart hurts right now ... People can disappoint. Situations can disappoint. Insecurities can follow. The Lord NEVER disappoints ...

On another note ... we made homemade Twix bars. Pie and I worked together to melt Carmel, then chocolate to layer on the the baked cookie. So good ... It's the simple things! We have also indulged in homemade pastas and bread. Got to love Pinterest!  Feels so nice to be quiet, enjoy the simple things right inside our little home ... For that I am thankful.

It's been a kind of bum around day, nothing terrible productive ... I'm ok with that.

January is a sleepy month around here. The temperatures are below freezing. Lately we've had thick fog. It's the time we want to snuggle in ...

Photography is slow. And while I do still shoot, it's scaled way back, as most clients wait til spring. I use the time to rejuvenate. Bub is on a sports hiatis. Basketball ended before Christmas. It's a time to be,  perhaps jump into some home projects, enjoy quiet evenings as a family.

I celebrate my birthday this month. 43. Wow. I always thought by my 40's I'd have it all together. Ha! Was I wrong. While I know more now than when I was in my 20's, 30's or even last year, I'm still a long way from all together. But I believe we all are to some degree. Like a child, with each and every day, we learn, we grow, we become more of who God wants is to be ... as long as we are open to it. Life is all about that journey, not the end destination. With every experience, every trial, every success, we learn more about life, who we are, and who we should and want to be.

Grace. Peace. Content. Full.
Words that are on my heart.

For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content - Phil. 4:11

So the New Year has begun ... 2013. A fresh start. The feeling of renewal, rejuvenation, cleansing. New goals, new ideas.
We don't know what the new year will hold ... only God knows ... what can and will take place. He knows what we will experience, what adventures we will embark on. And in that, we have hope ...

My hope for the New Year is in relationships.
    To be the wife that loves and supports, that laughs and cries with. To start our days together in the quiet of the morning, sipping coffee, talking, reading. For our marriage to grow, to be deeper, richer, fuller ...

    To be the mother my children need me to be. A mother that sets examples and boundaries. A mother that loves, comforts and supports. A mother that plays and lets them know that it's okay to be goofy. To teach them about responsibility and the fun in being spontaneous ...

     I want to be the daughter, sister, friend and neighbor that gives of myself. That puts others first ... invest in them and moments together. To support, encourage ...

     For my business to expand, taken to an all new level. Exactly what, I do not know ... but in a way that is good and right. So my photography is a blessing for others. I am thankful for January as it is my slow time. It's a time to sort of snuggle in, go slow, breathe, think, create.

     I desire to read more ...
     I want to run more ...
     I desire to cook ...
     I want to laugh ...
     I desire to be surrounded by our family and friends ...
     I want quiet moments at home ...
     I desire to live every moment to its fullest ...
     I desire a peaceful community ...

Dream. Hope. Aspire. Inspire.

My prayer for this New Year.
Happy New Year ...
   

A little time by myself today ... kiddos are at their grandparents, and a husband out to lunch with his own mom. It's been a time of being with others, enjoying our relationships, creating memories.

Christmas may be over, the presents unwrapped, the feast, done  ... but the Christmas feeling is quite alive. We are so very blessed to call one another family, the peace in our hearts and home, and all the family and friends that are in our lives. We are not rich. Yet we have an abundance. My heart overflows ...

Bub and Pie have both grown so much this year ... physically and spiritually. They both are incredible students. Bub excels in sports and music. Pie spends her time with artwork and her own music. But beyond that, they are both caring, compassionate people, who are quite confident in who they are.  Hearing their prayers warms my hearts. Hearing their thoughts blows my mind ...

And I have a husband that I adore. Whether we just sit and read together, go grocery shopping or steal a dinner out together ...  I so value our time.

This past year has been full. My business has grown and I am so grateful for where it has taken me and the experiences I have had.  Answered prayers. I am blessed to get to do what I love and still be home with my children.

Now, for a afternoon of ice skating and hot cocoa ... life is good.

As the year closes, I am thankful for all it brought. And I pray for God to direct our New Year ...

Happy New Year ... 2013 ...

The tree is trimmed, the gifts are wrapped. There's been baking and visiting with friends. There's been the hustle and bustle, and quiet moments by the fire. The service at church filled with Christmas carols and beautiful Christmas message ... the birth of Jesus. His life and what it means to and for us.

Christmas is in the air, it is here and my heart is full. My favorite time of year ...

Merry Christmas to all ...