Football ended. Basketball started. Now Bub has to be at school and ready to practice at 6:30 am. So he is up and out early ... way before the light of day. It's bittersweet ... and I'm feeling a bit nostalgic. You see, for several years my dearest friend and myself have coached our boys basketball team. Such a sweet time with the boys. Yet this year, 7th grade, they play for their school. And no mom coaches there! :( Just another sign of growing up. So good and so right. I love where Bub is and who he is, but my heart aches a little.
Halloween is in the horizon and the kiddos are excited. Costumes are nearly together, just a few more touches are needed. Candy purchased and unfortunately mostly eaten. So another trip to the store today. Spent last evening carving pumpkins and watching Charlie Brown's "It's the Great Pumpkin." It's a yearly family tradition. And no matter the kiddos get, I think it will be a tradition that carries on. Halloween seems to bring out the kid in all of us.
Although the past week or so has been full and good, I have struggled with stress, being overwhelmed, feeling the lack of time for everything. I longed for simpler days, less commitments. We all go through seasons and handle things differently ... but these are my struggles.
Mid-week someone made a comment during our conversation of how I seem to have it all together. I had to chuckle ... if they only knew.
Last weekend I was on my way to drop Pie off for a birthday dinner with a friend. I had been at work while the rest of the family was at my parents. As we got in the car to head to our meeting place with her friend I realized she was in shorts, a tank top, her face painted and no shoes ... Perfect restaurant attire! Ha! So on our way down , out of absolutely no where a baby deer ran right on front of us. While I did slam on the brake, it was simply too late. Pie and the I found ourselves in the street with the injured deer. Neighbors came out. We called 911. I tried to hold it together. Pie prayed. When the police got there, he realized there was only one thing he could do. That's when I lost it and just cried. He told us we should leave ... we did. But only after holding the sweet little face and apologizing to this beautiful creature. Crying, we pulled away. Not a second later, we heard the gunshot. We parked, cried, prayed ...
Needless to say, we added running face paint to the birthday dinner attire ...
Sure ... I have it all together. I imagine handling crazy moments with grace ...
Then there is the internal ... being hard on myself, being overwhelmed, frustrated, all the things I am guilty of, what good am I to my family? How can I be the wife, mother, women God intends me to be? "He that has no rule over is own spirit is like a city that is broken down." Proverbs 25:28 I realized instead of praying for situations, people, outwardly things to change like a band aid, (I know there are always people and situations to pray for) but that I should pray for a change in myself. A change in my own heart. To give my situations, no matter how big or how small, to God. Perhaps then and only then, can I be all He has for me.
Spent the past weekend harvesting walnuts with family. There was something so very peaceful about being out in the cold air, hearing the children's laughter, and working together as a family ...
Then had an incredible date with my husband. It was simply cleaning out the pantry and refrigerator, then going grocery shopping. Silly ... yet so nice. We had time to talk and be together, connect.
It's the little things ... :)
Hoping for a dry Halloween ... peace
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