My heart has been unsettled ....

True prayer is not to be found in the words of the mouth but in the thoughts of the heart.
- Gregory the Great

Sometime its so easy to out on a front, "Oh, everything is great." But sometimes it isn't. Is anything truly wrong? No. Just a lot stirring in my heart.

Sure there has been some mishaps around here ....

Broken dishwasher ...
Broken Kitchen Aid Mixer ...

Both have frustrated me and given me a true appreciation for just how easy I have it.
Now, we do dishes by hand three times a day. At least. I am now mixing our sour dough bread by hand.

Normal household chores ... that's expected.

Busy days ... certainly have been. The other day went something like this ...
Early am run, breakfast, dishes, Bub off to school, Pie off to school, asked to work in Pie's class, stayed of course, home, lunch, dishes, finish a magazine article submission, laundry, spend time with Pie, start thinking about dinner, pick Bub up at robotics, drive straight to football (while Bub changes in the way back of the car), sign up to bring a main course to the football party, home, make dinner, eat, dishes, help Bub with homework, read with Pie, bedtime routine, hang with my soul mate for a bit, late night photo editing, bed.

I certainly am not complaining. I am grateful. I do like to be involved. I like to be working. I like to cook for my family. I like a cozy home.
Sometimes overwhelming ... yes.
Sometimes I get caught up in what has to be done ... yes.

But today I sit home alone ... kiddos are at school, caught up with work, laundry is done. The house is quiet. Sometimes I think "if only I had a moment." Well now I do and I don't want it! I love the noise, the energy, the fingerprints, all that the kiddos bring.

They are growing so fast. I love being so involved in their lives, know their hearts, love them. Each new season has been an incredible adventure, and it keeps getting better. But today I looked at Bub and thought back to how we use to spend hours zipping Hot Wheels cars down the hallway. I miss that. I can't have that time back ... I am grateful for it but I miss it. Today I realized just how much.

Time is so precious.
I always find myself telling the kiddos how important it is to make the most of each moment ... but sometimes its an important reminder for me.

Makes me think of a conversation I recently had with a family member. I was telling her about Bub's football playoffs and how excited he was. The response was "I don't do the sport thing. I'll go to the recitals or plays." Ok! Bub doesn't do plays or recitals ... To me, a grandmother should support her grandchildren in what they do do, not just what she enjoys to watch or be involved in.
I didn't say anything at the time. I think I just smiled because I was at a lose for words.
My heart wasn't gracious. I was mad at the selfishness, sad for her lose.

Life is but a blink of the eye ... and I want every moment to count. Do I know how to do that? Kind of. Do I do that well? Not always ...



I love looking at all the people that surround me ... those that I know and those that I don't. Everyone has a story, situations in their lives, priorities. That's what makes up this crazy, mixed up, beautiful world we live in.

"God designed you in a special way. You are the only one of you there will ever be, and only you can do the job God has for you."
-Unknown
(just something that stuck with me)

Off to make the day count ... peace