We were running a bit late for church. We entered the amphitheatre (our services are held outdoors while the weather holds) from the back and literally sat on the back pathway. I was already feeling a bit blah ... for lack of a better word. Honestly, I was feeling very insecure ... my mothering, my work, right down to the basics, what I wear and how I look. I was questioning a lot. True vanity, yes. But that's exactly how I felt.
So we were on the back pathway and I was looking down at the amphitheater filled with people. And I was on the back path. That summed up how I was feeling. On the outskirts, not fitting in. But it wasn't about other all those other people, friends or family making me feel this way. But me .... feeling blah!
Sundays message was perfect ... it was a series on marriage and taking my focus off myself. Putting others, my spouse, children, before myself. I knew that but I wasn't living it. at least not at that moment. It was a nice reminder. Live close to the Lord ... put others before myself (and that includes feeling blah), and be blessed in returned.
At times I get caught up in living a picture perfect life. A very outwardly show. Running the perfect home, family, a business, right down to my own appearance.
Well, life isn't perfect. At least our isn't.
We run around trying to get out on time leaving mass destruction in our wake.
Piles of laundry (I'm great at doing the laundry but the fold and put away is another story). Quick dinners (especially on football nights).
Kids with moods. Most the time they are great but they can argue, bicker, be moody, disobey.
Finding myself throwing on a tee shirt from the 90's! Yes, I still have a few ...
Editing photos well into the night, because that's when I find some time.
Feeling overwhelmed. (My personal downfall ... yet a steady work in progress.)
Yet somehow, everything gets done.
Not getting caught up with things ... but how I spend my time is whats important ... storing up our treasures in heaven, in relationships, family, teaching the kiddos, etc. And all the other experiences life brings is just icing, Gods blessings ...
A friend gave me a poem a while back ..."Take Time" ...its all about taking time now with your children, enjoying them and who they are, whether its a time to learn or a time to play. Engaging them and not putting them off or aside for other things. It's a poem I keep with me and read often. It makes me think. It makes me cry.
And it makes me jump on the bed with Pie.
Play dodge ball with a yoga ball with Bub.
Go to the fishing hole with him and put worms on our hooks.
Play imagination games with Pie ... be the friend, little sister, mother, daughter, teacher ...
Get Pie makeovers, pedicures and manicures.
Get lost in reading with adventures with Bub.
Sit at the the local pharmacy, sipping phosphates, chatting about nothing.
Life is interesting ... life is good ...
"Every man's life is a fairy tale written by God's fingers."
- Hans Christian Anderson
So Bub bought himself a motorcycle, a dirt bike to be exact. He saved up his own money and we shopped around for a used bike. We found one close by, took him to look at it and made the decision to buy it. The learning curve was steep. From simply balancing himself on the bike to shifting. But he did great. He loves to ride, the speed, the freedom to go ...
So we were on the back pathway and I was looking down at the amphitheater filled with people. And I was on the back path. That summed up how I was feeling. On the outskirts, not fitting in. But it wasn't about other all those other people, friends or family making me feel this way. But me .... feeling blah!
Sundays message was perfect ... it was a series on marriage and taking my focus off myself. Putting others, my spouse, children, before myself. I knew that but I wasn't living it. at least not at that moment. It was a nice reminder. Live close to the Lord ... put others before myself (and that includes feeling blah), and be blessed in returned.
At times I get caught up in living a picture perfect life. A very outwardly show. Running the perfect home, family, a business, right down to my own appearance.
Well, life isn't perfect. At least our isn't.
We run around trying to get out on time leaving mass destruction in our wake.
Piles of laundry (I'm great at doing the laundry but the fold and put away is another story). Quick dinners (especially on football nights).
Kids with moods. Most the time they are great but they can argue, bicker, be moody, disobey.
Finding myself throwing on a tee shirt from the 90's! Yes, I still have a few ...
Editing photos well into the night, because that's when I find some time.
Feeling overwhelmed. (My personal downfall ... yet a steady work in progress.)
Yet somehow, everything gets done.
Not getting caught up with things ... but how I spend my time is whats important ... storing up our treasures in heaven, in relationships, family, teaching the kiddos, etc. And all the other experiences life brings is just icing, Gods blessings ...
A friend gave me a poem a while back ..."Take Time" ...its all about taking time now with your children, enjoying them and who they are, whether its a time to learn or a time to play. Engaging them and not putting them off or aside for other things. It's a poem I keep with me and read often. It makes me think. It makes me cry.
And it makes me jump on the bed with Pie.
Play dodge ball with a yoga ball with Bub.
Go to the fishing hole with him and put worms on our hooks.
Play imagination games with Pie ... be the friend, little sister, mother, daughter, teacher ...
Get Pie makeovers, pedicures and manicures.
Get lost in reading with adventures with Bub.
Sit at the the local pharmacy, sipping phosphates, chatting about nothing.
Life is interesting ... life is good ...
"Every man's life is a fairy tale written by God's fingers."
- Hans Christian Anderson
So Bub bought himself a motorcycle, a dirt bike to be exact. He saved up his own money and we shopped around for a used bike. We found one close by, took him to look at it and made the decision to buy it. The learning curve was steep. From simply balancing himself on the bike to shifting. But he did great. He loves to ride, the speed, the freedom to go ...
Pie on her first day of kindergarden. She is learning so much! And more than that she has the desire to learn. Sounding out words. Spelling out the words in her books, asking questions and trying to put it all together. I love watching that. I love being a part of that!
Off to live life ... crazy as it may be. But I guess crazy is better than boring.
Peace ...
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