My introspective mood ...

Life's been full the last week or so ... truly not been a lot of time to write. Or perhaps no energy.
There's been a lot on my mind and heart. And that can be tiring. Mostly the kiddos ... the growth, the changes, my relationship with them, my (our) choices for them ... it all takes my breath away.

Looking at Pie, I now see a little girl. Almost 5, she is no longer a baby. She has always been mellow and a "go with the flow" kind of babe. But she has some of her own interests now .... playing with friends, ballet, the piano. She's a true delight and has such a unique personality that has recently started to shine.

Bub is truly coming into his own. He's changing, looking at things differently, experiencing new thing., independent And he doesn't need mom so much any more. All healthy and in the right timing ... yes, I suppose. Heartbreaking for me ... definitely. Seems like it was just yesterday that he was a babe hanging out with me at my photography studio at the time. We were constantly together, talking, reading, teaching, playing. I truly miss those moments. But I'm also sure that it was all those moments that taught him so much, to be who he is today.

I am a good mom to a babe, a little person, if you will. But I'm feeling like I haven't got a clue what to do at his age. How to let our relationship change and grow in the direction it needs to, how to let him have a bit more independence, how to teach ...

It's a constant prayer for me ...

... and probably a lot harder for me than him.
If time could stand still .... I would have Bub be 5 once again. Pie would have been 1. But it was a time when things were very simple.
Yet as I write this from a mothers heart I am reminded of all the good times right now and all those that are to come.
Because if we could go back in time with the knowledge of right now, oh how many things would each of us done differently? But it all those times, decisions that make us each who we are now. A wise person once told me "good decisions come from experience and experience comes from bad decisions."
Time doesn't stand still for anyone and its what we make out of each moment. God has so much for all of us ... if we just embrace.

"The Lord has wonderful plans for your life. Trust Him and He will give you more than you ever dreamed was possible."

(watching Bub pitch from behind homeplate!)

Work has also been on my heart as of late. I love my work ... photographing people, families, babies, mamas to be. Creating memories for others that I know I so cherish. But it has been slow. Perhaps that's ok, but I do question myself a lot. I always want to stay fresh and creative. And I can have my lulls of feeling a bit stale. But shoots are starting to book as our weather is (or should be) changing.
Here we are, nearly June, and we have had wet, cold, windy days. Its been wild.

I feel like a change needs to take place in my business ... I'm not sure what, when or how, but something. There's areas I'd like to pursue but I also want to do whats right. Right for me, a decade old business and right for my family.

more prayer ...

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched ... they must be felt with the heart." Helen Keller

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and discover that they were the big things." Unknown

"God is with you in everything you do." Gen. 21:22

Life is full ... life is constant ... life is full of change ... life calls
Peace ...